Lets call this one Karma ;)

I'm pretty sure no one reads this anyway, and since its-again- MY blog im going to vent.

Urban Dictionary describes 'Karma' as a Smackdown of the Gods. I have to fully agree, this is my favorite definition for the word.

Its been a rough few months and especially this past week but in the end, justice is -somewhat- served.

A few months ago my 'Sister-in-law' left my mothers house completely in disarray leaving my mother with an insane amount of work to do on the house, they are still treating the house for cockroaches and fleas, then after that's finally done-whenever that will be- she'll have to spend several more months just fixing the place.

This past week i woke up to my son panicking because my Mother-in-law was having such a bad asthma attack that i needed to call an ambulance for her. 

That same day my husbands close friend was in a car accident where he flipped and totaled his car landing himself in the hospital.
A few days later, after my MIL was still in the hospital and the friend had been staying with us so we could 'help' take care of him, my husband goes to the Drs. because of his back problems.

*Little bit of back story: Jeremy had a herniated disk and went in for surgery 3 years ago, found out it was more of an exploded disk and it was 3 not just 1 that ended up being Removed. He's still having serious problems.

The doctor is concerned about the fact that he's gained more weight then should normally be gained after having the surgery and thinks its due to a heart condition, though we wont know anything until after he goes for lab work on Monday. He has to go through Physical Therapy and Pain Management (where he'll have to endure a steroid injection into the spine).

But the justice that was served (slightly) was when i received a phone call stating that ONE of the people who wrecked my mothers house was Arrested. *sigh of relief* Now I'm not usually one who would be happy about such things BUT my sister in law has a way of ruining.....everything and never having to pay the consequences. I thought for sure they would walk away from this unscathed. But they didn't, or at least her husband didn't. Yes, as far as i know he is out of jail now, BUT the fact that he went makes me feel like SOMETHING was done right. at least its a start.
People shouldn't be able to get away with trashing someone else's house.  Or the millions of other wrongs they have done and gotten away with. So, as someone who has had Karma bitchslap them time and time again, I can say that Karma is most definitely a bitch, but she sure is a pretty one. ;D

Sometimes

Concert Adventure.

Candice and I before the show.

My friend Candice and I went to the Framing Hanley concert last night at Headliners. The Venue was horrible un-air conditioned and i could have lived without a few of the bands i saw last night, but all in all it was an amazing night. I mean, who doesn't love standing in a heated room for 5 hours listening to rock-scream? Well, me, actually. I'm not a fan of the 'rock-scream'(you know, where they just scream hoarsely into the mic and you cant understand what they're trying to say?) or extreme temperatures. BUT it was worth standing in the sweltering heat and being compacted next to gross sweaty bodies.Luckily i remembered to pile on the Deodorant before leaving for the show!

We met some new people- A Kristina, a 14 year old chick who was pretty awesome, she even shares my same dorky love for Degrassi, and her 'bodyguard' for the night, i believe his name was Mike?

We got introduced to new bands such as, Harrowsfield, and there was a band i cant seem to figure out what the name is...weep the belldamn? or something like that. I wish i knew, they were good. And we were lucky enough to see Transmit Now who I had heard a lot of great things about.They were Awesome! Highly recommend their stuff!

Awesome guy from Transmit Now!

 AND I got a guitar pic thrown at me by Brandon from Framing Hanley. Apparently it pays off to get caught taking pictures of him during the show! As I'm taking the picture of him, he chucked the pick straight at me and whacked me right in the stomach...it was AWESOME!

Until i realized i couldn't find it in the dark. So we waited, then he threw another pick into the crowd (in our vicinity) which made everyone start searching (freaking me out because i didn't want them to find *my* pick.)

I took a picture trying to use the light to find the pick.;P

The 14 yo found it though so when the lights came on and everyone was leaving i was able to say, "Oh yeah, that pick? It was already found.' leaving me ample opportunity to grab *my* pick. It's now hanging on the cork board in my room. Granted, i know its just a pick, and its not the coolest thing in the world, but its pretty damn cool to me.

Nixon from Framing Hanley.

 Later, some Drunkasorous Rex sloshed her fruity alcoholic drink on my head and face, which, in the heat felt nice but was still annoying. I mean, who really wants booze in the face? Luckily her friend took note of my stink eye(or maybe it was because of the guy behind me who yelled at her?) and grabbed her drink from her.

People: if your going to get trashed at a concert, do not go crazy and try to 'rock out' by throwing your hands (and drink) in the air. It makes for very angry neighbors.

And while i don't really see the point in 'moshing' it was fun to watch. And also, the guy behind us(who started out in front of us, he was one of the people we befriended, Mike?) stood in our path so we didn't get mauled by the Moshers. What a gentleman!

After the show my bed decided to nag me till i finally caved and went to sleep, it took the whole next day of recovering for my ears to stop ringing. ;D 

Us after, or, during the show?!

Random boring update.

I don't have much to report. a few minor things: My son will be starting school September 1st. Which is scary, exciting and tear-jerking all at the same time.
My laptop charger broke which was the only thing keeping the poor guy alive. A new battery (which broke in April) is over $170, and a new charger is roughly around $70. either way, its too much for a luxury item right now. So I'm forced to use the main computer which is located in the bedroom. This means that the only time I'm able to use a computer other then checking updates on my phone, i use it at night. and by then I'm too tired to write. Which is depressing.

I recently started re-reading Chapter 1 of my 'baby'. so far I've written about 6 chapters total in that one. but reading it made me really want to get back into writing it. So i might have to suck it up and pull a few late/all nighters just to get in some good writing time.

Hmm...i have a concert to go to next weekend to see a band that has been a huge help with the writing process. Framing Hanley...If you haven't yet listened to this band, i suggest you 'YouTube' them after reading this post. Songs they're popular for...most recently on their new album 'A Promise to Burn'- 'You Stupid Girl', 'Photographs and Gasoline'. From their earlier Album 'The Moment'-'Hear Me Now', and a lil Wayne cover of 'Lollipop'. However, i personally suggest listening to both entire albums. Ok, so enough of me promoting lol. The concert should be a blast since the last time my friend and i tried to see them we made it as they were playing their last song :( luckily they stayed behind and did a signing! So, i suppose I'll throw in some pics from the show next weekend.
Alright, well I'm done rambling on now. Later Blogspotters. ;)

Insane Venting

I've had one hell of a week and since this is MY blog I'm going to talk about my shit week here.

First, about a year ago? ish...I went up north to a baby shower for family and visited with my great grandma. On the way back down we (my mother, my cousin Jacob and myself) gave a ride to a cousin of mine back down to her place only an hour from where i live. (we were in Luther MI which is 5 hours from Toledo -where i live) Ana, was my cousins name. A few weeks after that she emailed me telling me that she thought i seemed like a cool person and wanted to hang out again sometime. Well, Ana seemed like a big party girl to me. I have two small children so i figured it'd be best not to respond right away because I'm not a party person. A while later i got another email saying pretty much the same thing and that she wanted to hang out sometime. Again i didn't respond. A week or so ago i started thinking about it and had the urge to write back, because its unlike me to be mean like that. and to be completely honest i did like her, i thought she was a nice person. i may not like the 'partying' but shes family...still i just didn't write back.

Ana Died last week.

I may not have been close to her, but damn do i feel the pain of her death. And the guilt. I know people may get angry with me for posting her cause of death but again, this is MY blog... Ana died of an accidental overdose. She had just turned 21.
So, I went to the showing. i couldn't bring my self to go up to the casket. I'm deathly afraid of all things 'ghostly' and/or 'dead people'. I have respect for the dead, but it scares the bajezus out of me. So, i didn't go up. As i was sitting outside with my 90 year old great grandmother, some creaper came up and hit on me...IN FRONT OF MY G-MA AT A FUNERAL HOME! WTF!?
THEN... as everyone is leaving the funeral home for the night Ana's best friend walks straight up to me (i had never met her before) and says, 'You look so much like her it's killin me. Its your eyes, they're just like Ana's.' AGAIN I SAY, WTF!? Not something you want to hear.
The funeral itself was absolutely insane. They dug the grave in front of us, lowered her into the ground and filled it-in front of us-. Which from my understanding is very unusual. Her grandfather weeped insanely and tried to throw himself into the grave. Her brother...was devastated. It was absolutely heartbreaking.

On to another day, I got into an argument with another cousin over...nothing. It was stupid and i hate it. I hate fighting with people. Its pointless. Enough said about that.

And then that brings me to today. This requires back story...can you see the big dream bubble form? Imagine it, its big...SO i have a sister in law. My sister-in-law, We'll call her SIL for short, rented my childhood home from my mother. Which BTW i said was a HORRIBLE idea. just sayin...anyway, My MIL(mother in law) payed her rent for a year as well as her bills. once that year was up, she stopped paying it. SO the SIL couldn't afford the place because she refused to get a job. So my mom evicted her. She had well over 90 days to get her stuff and move out. She waited until the very last day (which was last night) and left. my mother went into the house this morning to find it INFESTED with roaches. like, Joe's friggin appartment infested. There's a hole in the kitchen wall, Front door and back door are broken. Garage man door and overhead door are broken. Hamster bedding and feces and urine dumped in the middle of the bedroom floor. (their water got shut off in may, where did they potty you night ask....EVERYWHERE!) There was dog poo all over the floors, garbage all over the floors, Garbage stuffed into the basement sink with moldy dog poo on top. The carpet was shredded, the padding underneath the carpet was shredded. CRACK PIPES-that's right, plural- and NEEDLES! Wow, what a great SIL i have. I am humiliated. I am Furious. And i can say that i believe i will never forgive her for doing this. What a fucking week, eh? And of course, she fled town as far as we know, So...I'm to the point of being unable to figure out my emotions. I'm numb right now. How can someone live like that? How can someone be THAT disgusting? Its unbelievable.

Well, there ya have it. That's my venting rampage for the evening.

More Ramblings

Hola!
I figured every so often i should come by this page and write something...most days i have nothing interesting to say which is why i neglect my mindless scribblings so much. And today is no different. I have nothing interesting to report really so ill just babble a bit.

Oli and Ani have finally slept together, No, i will not be posting that specific scene just yet because its not the final draft. Ive done a lot of mucking up when it comes to this story because it IS the rough draft and your first draft cant be perfect...which it's taken me a long time to understand that but I'm not attempting to deal with it.

I recently went to see Eclipse. I was one f the Twerds in line at 6pm waiting for the midnight showing on the 29th. And i loved every minute of it and plan to do it again for both parts of Breaking Dawn. The movie itself was amazing. Unlike the Twilight movie, New Moon AND Eclipse blew me away. I'm not the biggest Kstew fan because i think her acting is a bit shoddy but i have to say she is beginning to step it up and is starting to compliment the other actors in the films now. So, Kudos Kstew.

In other news, I haven't read since the first week of May so that i wouldn't be distracted during the writing process. Since i stopped reading i have started and almost finished a story...but lately my mind is getting muddled and I'm having a hard time writing...its not writers block...its the fact that i have the attention span of a flea. So I'm considering picking up a book...or maybe just an Ebook. I've been dying to get my hands on more of Author Stacey Espino's work. Her Fearless Desires book was such an amazing book that i cant wait to read more of her work...which she has recently come out with a new release called 'Saving Grace'. I hear its been #1 on Bookstrand for awhile...Cant wait to read it. SO if your in the ebook world, check her out. You wont be disappointed I promise!

I have also just discovered that there is rumors of Richelle Mead's Vampire Academy series being Optioned for film!!! Which is huge for me...its as big for me as Twilight. Which is...well, Huge for personal reasons. So Yay to Richelle!

Alright, nothing else to ramble about at the moment. I'm going to get back to my scribbling. Later Blogspotters. :)

Ramblings

I was going strong with writing. I had written over 19k words in just a few weeks for the Oli and Ani story. I had been working on a story for over a year and only gotten 15k done in that tie period. Which is sad because its an amazing story...in my head at least. A while ago i read a book called 'Book in a Month' by Victoria Lynn Schmidt, it says that while writing your first rough draft to just Write...and not worry about mistakes or it not being in-depth enough. I, for some reason, couldn't seem to take that advise on my Jinx story. But its working for Oli and Ani. I know that ill need to go back through and re-write and lengthen a lot of it, but right now its just about getting it out of my head and on to paper. i can perfect it later. So, why couldn't i do it for my other book? Maybe i can...who knows. but I'm pretty sure that after Oli and Ani I'm going to start a different project...I have a few stories that have been nagging at me that I'm really excited about!

I'm so proud of this scene I wrote today I had to post it here!

This is from my Oli and Ani story. Oli is a 16 year old exchange student and Ani is the 26 year old aunt of the host family. Oli wants her, Shes reluctant for obvious age reasons...

Oli turned the water off and stood dripping in the tub as he watched Ani bend over to dry her legs. Oli bit back a groan. “Do you think she can tell?”


“What?”

Ani stood and turned to look at Oli, “Do you think Jess can tell that whenever you get around me your dick gets hard but as soon as you so much as hear her voice you go limp?”

Oli thought back on the way Jess acted and said, “No. She has no idea.”

“Are you enjoying this? Getting enough material stored up for later?”

Oli stepped out of the tub, moving too quickly for Ani to be able to properly react and lifted her onto the counter. She gasped in shock as Oli grabbed hold of her knees and forced them apart. He swooped down and licked up the length of her shaved pussy.

“Shit! OLI” she yelled as she shoved at him. Oli stood and grabbed Ani’s throat pushing her up against the mirror. Her eyes went wide.

“I got enough material the other night when I finger fucked you on the piano bench.” He looked into her shocked face and shook his head incredulously, “I’m not a scared little boy, Ani. I’m not afraid to touch you, to hurt you. I want you, Ani, and I’m going to fuck you. When you’re ready I’m going to fuck you and it’s going to hurt. And you’re going to like it. And when you scream I’m going to cover your mouth and make you scream harder. So get ready, Ani, because that day is coming.” He let go of her but stayed close, “I know you’re in some kind of trouble, Ani. I’m not going anywhere.” He cupped the back of her head, he sighed heavily. “You come to me if you need anything.” Oli looked pointedly at her, when she said nothing Oli yanked on her hair making her suck in her breath. Ani bit her lip and nodded reluctantly.

I'm over 15k words into writing this story and things are getting more Riskay by the minute. Now I must go back to writing these two, I left them a little hot and bothered and fresh from a shower.... 

His

As soon as our eyes met everything faded, the room, the crowd. My heart thudded loudly and I knew he could hear it. His eyes flashed with a need and hunger I had never seen in him before. And it only excited me more. He walked toward me; his intentions clear in his movements. Between one breath and the next I was up against the wall, the hem of my long skirt shoved up and his fingers sliding deep inside me. His other hand grabbed my throat tightly and he lifted me off the ground so my core was level with his face. Without needing to be told I raised my hands and quickly grabbed the ledge above holding on tightly.


He wasted no time. His mouth was like fire, hot and glorious on my sensitive clit. His hand still worked inside me, pumping one finger in and out as he sucked my clit into his mouth adding teeth to the sensation. My back arched and my head fell back against the wall as my arms strained to myself up. Luckily I had the support of my thighs resting on his shoulders. Gods, this felt good.

His hand had dropped from my throat and began hefting up my shirt and pushing his hand under my bra. There was no gentleness about this man; he was nothing but rough edges and harsh planes. He squeezed my breast so tightly I screamed at the pleasure the pain brought. At the sound of my scream he added another finger to my pussy and started pumping harder, faster. He bit down on my clit holding it between his teeth and teased it with his tongue. I couldn’t take it; my mind and body went in to sensual overload. The pain felt too good and I couldn’t seem to control the screams and moans I was letting out. My body shuddered and my muscles clamped down on his fingers. Still he didn’t slow, he pushed through the tightness, teeth still holding my clit, he sucked on it painfully while taking my nipple in between his fingers and squeezing until I screamed again and shattered. My orgasm burst through me. He rode me through it, never faltering. My vision went black and my ears rang. I drew in breath after ragged breath until I could see again. As my orgasm subsided he roughly let me drop to the ground. As I slid down the wall he lifted my skirt to his face, wiping my juices from his mouth.

He pulled his fingers from me as my feet hit the floor. His clean hand gripping my jaw and clamping tightly, forcing my mouth open, he shoved his fingers into my mouth. I gladly sucked them in tasting myself on him. I would have accepted anything he did to me. He rested his forehead on mine and stared into my eyes, breathing heavily. He let his fingers slip out of my mouth and relaxed his hand that was clamped on my jaw. The corner of his mouth quirked up and amusement lit his eyes. My breathing finally slowed and everything was coming back into focus. Realization hit. We were in a room crowded with people and everyone had just watched him use me. I stood there horrified, and the more my surroundings started to sink in the more horrified I became. I stared in shock at his growing smirk, knowing now that he had done this intentionally, that he was exerting his dominance and showing the world that no matter what happened or what I thought, I was and always would be His.

Dirty Scribbling

Dear Diary,


I saw him last night. I saw the boogyman. He crept into my room and told me not to be afraid. He said he wouldn’t hurt me. I didn’t scream. I didn’t cry. He said he’d be careful. I heard him open a wrapper but I didn’t see anything. I felt his hand on my side. It was cold. But it felt nice. He slid his hand down my body taking off my panties. He was starting to make me nervous. He pulled my shirt up over my breasts. He leaned down to one and put his mouth on it. I cried out then. But it wasn’t a bad cry. He said it was ok to do that, that it meant I liked it. It felt too good to talk. I didn’t know if I was supposed to like it. But I did. He sucked hard on the other one. It made a sharp feeling go through my stomach and tighten my insides. He touched me there. The place my panties usually covered. I wanted him to. It felt like I would die if he didn’t touch me there. He used his hand to rub circles over the sensitive area. His other hand pinched my nipple, the one his mouth wasn’t biting. I felt something go inside me. I pushed back on it wanting it to go in deeper. His mouth and hand let go of my nipples. I whimpered. His lips pushed against mine. He made my mouth open and pushed his tongue inside. I touched it with mine. It was wet and slippery and hot. I was making noises. He said he liked them. I felt his tongue slid down my stomach. It was cold where it was wet. He sucked on my sensitive area near where he was pushing inside me. My back arched off the bed. Lightning bolts went through my body and down to my toes. He kept sucking on it. He put more inside me. It felt bigger. I couldn’t stop moving my body on it. My body caught on fire. Not real fire he said, but it felt like it. It tingled all over, but in a good way. He said I was so wet. But I couldn’t be wet. I was on fire. He pushed my legs apart. He took the thickness out of me. The fire stopped. He climbed on top of my body and put his fingers in my mouth. He told me to suck on them. I did. They tasted sweet and salty. They were very wet. He put something big near my entrance. He pushed in a little. It felt good when he pulled back out. I wanted him to do it again. He did. He said it would hurt a little. But he said not to be afraid. He said to hold on to him and cry if I had to. He said he was sorry. Something pushed inside me. Something heavy and hard, but warm and painful. I bit him. I tried not to scream so I bit him. He said he wasn’t mad. He said he liked it. His body started moving on top of me. The pain inside my stomach stopped hurting and started to feel good. It was like the fire. He stuck his tongue in my mouth again. I sucked on it. He said he liked that too. The fire was burning me up. I couldn’t stop making noises. It felt like the fire overflowed and was all over me again. I could feel it in my toes. He said he felt it too and that he put it there. He asked me if I wanted to feel it again. I did. He rolled me over so I was on top of him. He told me to move my body till it felt good. I told him I was scared to. He sat up. I thought he was mad. He said he wasn’t. He grabbed my sides and pulled me off him. The lightning struck through my stomach again and I screamed. He told me to move like that. I kept doing it over and over. His mouth was on my nipple again. I felt his hand go down the crack of my butt. He said to relax. I felt his finger push in my butt. More lightning went through me. It hurt a little. He wiggled his finger a little. It made me want to slam down harder on him. So I did. The fire took over me again. I bit him. He screamed and wiggled his finger harder. The fire took my breath away. I squeezed him tight until it stopped. He pulled his finger out of me. He rolled me over and got off of me. He kissed me and told me I was a good girl. He asked me if I wanted him to come back the next night. I told him I did. He left. I lay around in my bed all night. My belly was still tight. I wanted the fire again. I wondered if my hand could rub the way his did. I tried it. But it didn’t work. I went to sleep so I could see him tomorrow. He said he’d be back. He said it was a secret. He said if anyone in the monastery knew that they would be mad. I told him I wouldn’t tell. He’s here—Shhh…

My first blog :)

I'm not much of a blogger but I figured I'd give it a whirl. I needed somewhere i could post things and not feel judged. I guess having my own blog will have it's perks, eh? I am an aspiring writer-wait...no, that's not right. I am a writer. I write daily. I am unpublished. Three years ago i picked up my first book and read like a maniac. I feel in love with the written word. after almost two years of reading any kind of paranormal book i could get my hands on i decided to start writing with a little shove from my sister. (OK a big shove) So for over a year now I've been slowly writing a particular story and i was trying to make it...more conservative. I didn't want it to be classified as Adult. i wanted teens to be able to read it. But then i went to the RT 2010 convention and it changed my writing life. I love reading erotica. I love foul language and i love rough alpha males. I cant help it. Its what i know and i decided i couldn't not write what i felt was right. So, I began again writing my story and inserting the things i felt needed to be in there. It's helped immensely, my story started flowing a lot better and i found myself having a lot more to say.
Then one day i randomly got a naughty scene in my head, just a random scene with a random couple that i didn't know...yet. I figured that after i wrote the scene out then i could get back to my original story. Fortunately these particular characters wouldn't let go and decided to form backgrounds and personalities and demanded to be written.
So i am now writing a story about a 16 year old German exchange student named Oli who comes to live with a family and meets their crazy aunt Ani who is 26. Yes i know it's weird to write an erotica story about a minor, but that's the fun of it.
Anyways, i have random scribblings that i am too afraid to post elsewhere due to the fact that my parents are my friends on Facebook and Myspace. So, this is where i will be posting them. If you cant stomach it, if you don't like foul language, if you don't like Sex...this is not the Blog for you so turn back now.